In early 2000, Lim Fong Him found himself facing a few major crises in his life all at the same time. It started with his marriage crisis. By his own confession, he was weak in communication with his wife, Iris. Being a man of action, he was focused on getting things done around the house but not too interested in sharing his feelings with Iris. Whenever they had guests, he would rather be taking care of all the physical aspects than sitting down to entertain them.

Iris and Fong Him were attending a traditional church. So they went for pastoral counseling, attending many sessions over a couple of months. However, problems were not resolved as they did not get down to the root cause but continued living their lives in the same manner. After a while, they got frustrated as the counseling sessions seemed to only highlight their differences and what they should but failed to do. At that same time, their church was also going through a crisis at that time. As a result, they both left the church.

Subsequently, to make matters worse, their in-laws compounded the already complicated equation. Fong Him was generally a filial son and in his parent’s family he was usually the one who helped in household chores before his marriage. However, he continued to do that even after they were married as they were over at his parents’ place on weekdays and almost all the weekends for dinner. Iris was not pleased as she felt that his parents seemed to be more important in his life than his wife.

Then their first child arrived and Fong Him’s mother became the confinement lady. As Iris’ mother came along and expressed differing opinions from Fong Him’s mother in caring for their grandson, friction arose. That stressed the already strained relationship of the couple. Along with a newborn came the increase in housework and marketing. As Fong Him was very particular with the tidiness around the house, he was tired out with the household chores. As if rubbing salt into his wounds, he also faced increased pressures from his work. So as his patience was wearing thin, he would just snub Iris when she asked him questions.

The point finally arrived when Iris just could not take it anymore and wanted a divorce. She felt that ever since they got together, their relationship had no depth. She was looking forward to having a soul mate that she could open her heart to but could not find that in Fong Him. In fact, after their firstborn came along, they drew even further apart. Fong Him was just not spending time to relate to her nor the baby although he took care of the chores around the house. He would gobble up his meals in five minutes and then walk away to watch television rather than to interact with his loved ones at the dining table. 

Then came his career crisis. Working in the investment banking sector, he was stressed with the heavy workload and the deadlines to meet. It did not help that some of his colleagues were shirking their responsibilities. In one instance, he was upset that he had to pick up the slack of another colleague and his boss did not fend for him. With many accumulated issues unresolved and he did not want to confront his boss, he decided to apply for an internal transfer, hoping that it would be better for him. However, his problems were compounded after the transfer as he could not see eye to eye with his new boss. In fact, the new supervisor seemed to be always picking on him. Finding life to be miserable, Fong Him tried to apply for another transfer and even looked for a job elsewhere but was unsuccessful. 

That was when they realized that underlying all their problems was their spiritual crisis and God was the answer. They began to look for a suitable church. Fong Him’s brother learned about their problems and invited them to the Miracle Service. When they first stepped into the Sanctuary, Fong Him immediately felt God’s peace. From then onward, they began attending the Miracle Service and also the Sunday Service regularly. As they applied the biblical principles taught, things started to get better.

In June 8, 2004, they joined a cell group. Fong Him even attended our Manila Miracle Revival. He learned about contentment as he saw the dire needs of the less fortunate people there and felt his own was so trivial in comparison. At one Holy Ghost Meeting in 2005, he actually felt led to step forward and that night he spoke in tongues. Coming from a traditional church, that was unthinkable for him in times past.

During the crisis, Iris searched the Bible, trying to look for affirmation of her decision to divorce her husband. It did not take her long to find out from the Word that God does not favor divorce. So she went through a period of seeking God, praying and crying to the Lord to deliver her from her misery. She received much inner healing after attending Lighthouse Evangelism and also the ministering in the cell group. At one quiet moment, she received these words from the Lord, “If you obey My commandments, I will make you happy and give you a happy family.” That was the confirmation she needed for her to stay put in the marriage. 

After some time, Iris decided to take the initiative to make their marriage work again. Throughout their crisis, they were sleeping in separate rooms. That night, she went back to their room much to Fong Him’s delightful surprise. He could not help but thank God because all his previous attempts to woo her back with flowers and gifts failed. Hallelujah!

Through all the crises, Fong Him discovered that only if our spirit is right with the Lord, then we can build a family for Jesus. Both of them have learned to walk closer to God and be more patient with each other. Now, Fong Him takes time to listen to and communicate with Iris. He even makes sure that he spends at least 20 minutes to enjoy their meals together.